Scrumptious Love’s helpful handbook to the various loves in your life, and the flowers to celebrate them!

ScrumptiousLove’s helpful handbook to the various loves in your life,

and the flowers to celebrate them!

Margaret Atwood, the author of The Handmaid’s Tale, has written many wonderful things in her life. Among them, a book titled Surfacing. She wrote it in 1972 and it’s on my reading list. I haven’t read it yet. Owing mostly to the fact that I don’t know a single person who has read every book on their reading list. Sort of committing to failure by making a list at all, now that I think about it… But Surfacing is on my list. I barely know the premise and truly only know just this one quote. But it is a fine and wonderful quote. “The Eskimos had fifty-two names for snow because it was important to them: there ought to be as many for love.”

I find it to be just as perfect today as I did when the book made my list.

My grandmother also has a list.

It’s even longer and more impressively hopeless than mine. But I’m taller. So I have that.

I also have her love.

Not when I was an infant or a toddler, mind you, but I suppose since I was old enough to appreciate such a thing, my grandmother has sent me a card on Valentine’s Day. There have been a few instances where she included candy. But mostly not. Always, though, a card. I’m 36 years old, and now she sends the cards to my children. And, to me, it’s one of the most miraculous forms of love I’ve ever experienced. Every year. For 30 years. A card. A reminder. A physical testament to her beautiful heart, that she wants me to know that I am loved by her, and that she’s thinking about me. I look forward to some future day when I get to do the same for my grandchildren. To send them my love in the mail. For them to feel what I felt as a kid. And for me to, in turn, feel what my grandma has felt for me all these years. It’s very The Lion King and the circle of life.

But today, in thinking about this Valentine’s Day, it has me thinking.

There’s the possibility that for every relationship you have, or maybe that anyone has ever had, that maybe it’s a special kind of love. That feeling shared between you might be wholly unique to you. And that maybe no experience is entirely the same for anyone. That the varieties of love, then, might be infinite. After all, the love my grandma and I share is different than the love between me and my daughter. And is not even the same as the love shared between my grandmother on the other side of the family.

How on earth are we supposed to accurately express ourselves and our love for each other if we haven’t classified these abstract feelings? Haven’t totally defined the deepest and most meaningful emotions we carry with us? It seems if we just had the right language and symbolism we could do it!

So this…

The ancient Greeks, the originators of the alphabet, the Olympics, and democracy, home of Plato and Aristotle, believed that you could more or less separate love into easily identifiable categories. If this is the first you’re hearing of this, you may be inclined to argue with some of their ideas, but keep in mind they didn’t have Google to immediately answer all their questions, nor did they have a chorus of comment sections to help guide and direct their thinking. They had intuition. And their friends and colleagues gut feelings. That’s it. And what they came up with broke down thusly. (I considered omitting the Greek words, because you probably don’t speak ancient Greek. But credit here is due and all we need is a word to get us started. May as well stick to the classics!):

Agápe love: Thomas Aquinas might have best described his understanding of this one, “…to will the good of another.” It applies to the kind of feelings you have towards your god or your children. It is an endless kind of love. Flowers to compliment this feeling:

Alstroemeria – This flower is symbolic of prosperity and friendship.

Tulips – Symbolizes a declaration and perfect love.

Sweet Peas – Symbolize delicate pleasure and bliss.

White Roses – Symbolize purity and innocence.

Pink Roses – Symbolize admiration and joy.

Peonies – Symbolize happiness and prosperity.

Éros: The antithesis of platonic. Sex. Passion. Attraction. Unless you’re prepubescent, you probably don’t need a lengthy explanation for this one… Flowers to compliment this feeling:

Red Roses – Symolize love and desire. Always a bullseye.

Lavender Roses – Symbolize love at first sight.

Orange Roses – Symbolize passion and interest.

Orchids – Symbolize exotic beauty

Yellow Irises – Symbolize passion

Philia: This one is for your BFF. Your sibling. Your mate. Your mom. Your grandma. It is the familiar. The loyal. The ride or die. The kind of affection that rises up with time. Compounded in life. Comprised of your chosen few. Flowers to compliment this feeling:

A mixing of colored roses – Symbolizes that you have all the feelings!

Yellow Roses – Symbolize true friendship.

Snapdragons – Symbolic of grace and strength in your relationship

Queen Anne’s Lace – Symbolizes sanctuary and safety

Storge: The last and possibly the least fun, but maybe the most powerful, is the love that comes out of instinct. The love that is cultivated from duty. Playing hide and seek with your little brother because you know it will make him happy. The love of a comforting mother, blind with exhaustion, lying in bed next to her sick child. It is the love that possibly might be the most deserving of all. And the flowers to reward this feeling:

Sunflowers – Symbolic of dedicated love.

Gardenias – Symbolize purity and sweetness.

                Daffodils – Symbolize regard and chivalry, joy and happiness.

                Carnations – Symbolic of pride and beauty, and the love of a mother.

                May you find the perfect flower that symbolizes your feelings this Valentine’sDay, and don’t forget to send flowers to your grandmother!