ScrumptiousLove’s helpful handbook to the various loves in your life,
and the
flowers to celebrate them!
Margaret
Atwood, the author of The Handmaid’s Tale, has written many wonderful
things in her life. Among them, a book titled Surfacing. She wrote it in
1972 and it’s on my reading list. I haven’t read it yet. Owing mostly to the
fact that I don’t know a single person who has read every book on their
reading list. Sort of committing to failure by making a list at all, now that I
think about it… But Surfacing is on my list. I barely know the premise
and truly only know just this one quote. But it is a fine and wonderful quote.
“The Eskimos had fifty-two names for snow because it was important to them:
there ought to be as many for love.”
I find it
to be just as perfect today as I did when the book made my list.
My
grandmother also has a list.
It’s even
longer and more impressively hopeless than mine. But I’m taller. So I have
that.
I also have
her love.
Not when I
was an infant or a toddler, mind you, but I suppose since I was old enough to
appreciate such a thing, my grandmother has sent me a card on Valentine’s Day.
There have been a few instances where she included candy. But mostly not.
Always, though, a card. I’m 36 years old, and now she sends the cards to my
children. And, to me, it’s one of the most miraculous forms of love I’ve ever
experienced. Every year. For 30 years. A card. A reminder. A physical testament
to her beautiful heart, that she wants me to know that I am loved by her, and
that she’s thinking about me. I look forward to some future day when I get to
do the same for my grandchildren. To send them my love in the mail. For them to
feel what I felt as a kid. And for me to, in turn, feel what my grandma has
felt for me all these years. It’s very The Lion King and the circle of life.
But today,
in thinking about this Valentine’s Day, it has me thinking.
There’s the
possibility that for every relationship you have, or maybe that anyone has ever
had, that maybe it’s a special kind of love. That feeling shared between you
might be wholly unique to you. And that maybe no experience is entirely the
same for anyone. That the varieties of love, then, might be infinite. After
all, the love my grandma and I share is different than the love between me and
my daughter. And is not even the same as the love shared between my grandmother
on the other side of the family.
How on
earth are we supposed to accurately express ourselves and our love for each
other if we haven’t classified these abstract feelings? Haven’t totally defined
the deepest and most meaningful emotions we carry with us? It seems if we just
had the right language and symbolism we could do it!
So this…
The ancient
Greeks, the originators of the alphabet, the Olympics, and democracy, home of
Plato and Aristotle, believed that you could more or less separate love into
easily identifiable categories. If this is the first you’re hearing of this,
you may be inclined to argue with some of their ideas, but keep in mind they
didn’t have Google to immediately answer all their questions, nor did they have
a chorus of comment sections to help guide and direct their thinking. They had
intuition. And their friends and colleagues gut feelings. That’s it. And what
they came up with broke down thusly. (I considered omitting the Greek words,
because you probably don’t speak ancient Greek. But credit here is due and all
we need is a word to get us started. May as well stick to the classics!):
Agápe love:
Thomas Aquinas might have best described his understanding of this one, “…to
will the good of another.” It applies to the kind of feelings you have towards
your god or your children. It is an endless kind of love. Flowers to compliment
this feeling:
Alstroemeria
– This flower is symbolic of prosperity and friendship.
Tulips –
Symbolizes a declaration and perfect love.
White Roses
– Symbolize purity and innocence.
Pink Roses
– Symbolize admiration and joy.
Peonies –
Symbolize happiness and prosperity.
Éros: The
antithesis of platonic. Sex. Passion. Attraction. Unless you’re prepubescent,
you probably don’t need a lengthy explanation for this one… Flowers to
compliment this feeling:
Red Roses –
Symolize love and desire. Always a bullseye.
Lavender
Roses – Symbolize love at first sight.
Orange
Roses – Symbolize passion and interest.
Orchids –
Symbolize exotic beauty
Yellow
Irises – Symbolize passion
Philia:
This one is for your BFF. Your sibling. Your mate. Your mom. Your grandma. It
is the familiar. The loyal. The ride or die. The kind of affection that rises
up with time. Compounded in life. Comprised of your chosen few. Flowers to
compliment this feeling:
A mixing of
colored roses – Symbolizes that you have all the feelings!
Yellow
Roses – Symbolize true friendship.
Snapdragons
– Symbolic of grace and strength in your relationship
Queen
Anne’s Lace – Symbolizes sanctuary and safety
Storge: The
last and possibly the least fun, but maybe the most powerful, is the love that
comes out of instinct. The love that is cultivated from duty. Playing hide and
seek with your little brother because you know it will make him happy. The love
of a comforting mother, blind with exhaustion, lying in bed next to her sick
child. It is the love that possibly might be the most deserving of all. And the
flowers to reward this feeling:
Sunflowers
– Symbolic of dedicated love.
Gardenias –
Symbolize purity and sweetness.
Daffodils – Symbolize regard and chivalry, joy and happiness.
Carnations – Symbolic of pride and beauty, and the love of a mother.
May you find the perfect flower that symbolizes your feelings this Valentine’sDay, and don’t forget to send flowers to your grandmother!
