Scrumptious Love's 5 ways to help Cupid hit his mark this Valentine's Day
There
are always going to be the things that you HAVE to do. Obligations.
Formalities. They are the requirements of living. And so, maybe it's
not all that surprising to any of us that the same is true for the
fanciful and the magical. You still have to buy the plane tickets to
get yourselves TO Disneyland. You have to pack your toothbrush and
deodorant. And you have to video the big reveal, the moment you shock
your children/spouse/significant-other that you're going, and then post
it on the internet. It's expected. It's tradition.
And like every tradition, after a while, there is the possibility for things to get stale. Stagnant. Monotonous. Maybe even a little cliche.
A reoccurring theme in every romantic-comedy we've ever loved, and if art imitates life, then a reoccurring theme in life itself, is that the same old dinner at the same old restaurant isn't always enough. Meg Ryan doesn't JUST order pie in the movie. She orders apple pie a la mode. She orders: "But I'd like the pie heated, and I don't want the ice cream on top. I want it on the side, and I'd like strawberry instead of vanilla if you have it. If not, then no ice cream, just whipped cream, but only if it's real. If it's out of the can, then nothing." If Billy Crystal had gotten on board with that kind of thinking at the beginning of the movie, there would be no movie. Just two people in love. And no one would buy a ticket to go see something like that. We all, however, might be inclined to buy a ticket for that kind of life. Or maybe, at the very least, that kind of Valentine's Day. After all, sometimes you need a little more to make that special someone feel special.
And like every tradition, after a while, there is the possibility for things to get stale. Stagnant. Monotonous. Maybe even a little cliche.
A reoccurring theme in every romantic-comedy we've ever loved, and if art imitates life, then a reoccurring theme in life itself, is that the same old dinner at the same old restaurant isn't always enough. Meg Ryan doesn't JUST order pie in the movie. She orders apple pie a la mode. She orders: "But I'd like the pie heated, and I don't want the ice cream on top. I want it on the side, and I'd like strawberry instead of vanilla if you have it. If not, then no ice cream, just whipped cream, but only if it's real. If it's out of the can, then nothing." If Billy Crystal had gotten on board with that kind of thinking at the beginning of the movie, there would be no movie. Just two people in love. And no one would buy a ticket to go see something like that. We all, however, might be inclined to buy a ticket for that kind of life. Or maybe, at the very least, that kind of Valentine's Day. After all, sometimes you need a little more to make that special someone feel special.
Here are our 5 ways to help that arrow strike true.
1. The power of a gift:
We might do well here to start by just quoting Gary Chapman and the, now, age-old wisdoms in his most famous book: The 5 Love Languages. (An aside: Did you know that, quite contrary to popular belief, me included, that the Gary Chapman who wrote this book was born in 1938, a doctor, and not at all the first husband of Amy Grant?? True story. You can look it up. Same name. Different guys. There's probably a not so subtle irony in there somewhere.) So, if there are 5 Love Languages, and one of them is Gifts (both giving and receiving) then you have a 20% chance that the person you love needs gifts of some kind to feel fully appreciated. This is from 5LoveLanguages.com: "Don't mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous- so would the absence of everyday gestures. Gifts are visual representations of love and are treasured greatly."
We might do well here to start by just quoting Gary Chapman and the, now, age-old wisdoms in his most famous book: The 5 Love Languages. (An aside: Did you know that, quite contrary to popular belief, me included, that the Gary Chapman who wrote this book was born in 1938, a doctor, and not at all the first husband of Amy Grant?? True story. You can look it up. Same name. Different guys. There's probably a not so subtle irony in there somewhere.) So, if there are 5 Love Languages, and one of them is Gifts (both giving and receiving) then you have a 20% chance that the person you love needs gifts of some kind to feel fully appreciated. This is from 5LoveLanguages.com: "Don't mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous- so would the absence of everyday gestures. Gifts are visual representations of love and are treasured greatly."
2. Art and Theater instead of a movie:
Wandering a gallery hand in hand, talking and noticing together, in a place built for the sole purpose of appreciation? It's an incredible experience. If you've never been and are willing to try something new, even if you don't "get" modern art, there's nothing like walking around a building with someone you love searching for things to fall in love with. I don't even think I have to say any more. Alternatively, a play. Real life on stage. Real actors. Real voices and breath. Real performances, ripe with imperfection. Consequences for failure. Standing ovations for success. It's exciting and an experience to share. To build a connection with afterward. To talk about all the wonder and the madness you both just witnessed on the drive home. It's beautiful. Unless your partner just wants to see Star Wars again. Then by all means. Take them to see Star Wars. The benefits of a loving gesture will be the same.
Wandering a gallery hand in hand, talking and noticing together, in a place built for the sole purpose of appreciation? It's an incredible experience. If you've never been and are willing to try something new, even if you don't "get" modern art, there's nothing like walking around a building with someone you love searching for things to fall in love with. I don't even think I have to say any more. Alternatively, a play. Real life on stage. Real actors. Real voices and breath. Real performances, ripe with imperfection. Consequences for failure. Standing ovations for success. It's exciting and an experience to share. To build a connection with afterward. To talk about all the wonder and the madness you both just witnessed on the drive home. It's beautiful. Unless your partner just wants to see Star Wars again. Then by all means. Take them to see Star Wars. The benefits of a loving gesture will be the same.
3. Fancy Take-Out or a Home Cooked Meal instead of the restaurant:
If you haven't been with your partner long enough to know what they like, then go out on a ledge. Try something new. If it's new for them. Make it new for you, too. But bring it home. DO NOT EAT IT OUT OF THE BOX. Put it on your fanciest plates. And drink out of your nicest glasses. But do it at home. Where there are no one's eyes to look into but each other's. Or make something. Make something your mom or grandma taught you to make. Make it with gusto. Make it with passion. Drink wine while you do it. And then, and this is monumentally important, whatever money you saved by making the food yourself, SPEND ON EVEN NICER WINE. We're not here to cut corners. We're here to celebrate. Make it the good stuff. That way, at least, if you make a mess of the meal, you can cheers confidently.
If you haven't been with your partner long enough to know what they like, then go out on a ledge. Try something new. If it's new for them. Make it new for you, too. But bring it home. DO NOT EAT IT OUT OF THE BOX. Put it on your fanciest plates. And drink out of your nicest glasses. But do it at home. Where there are no one's eyes to look into but each other's. Or make something. Make something your mom or grandma taught you to make. Make it with gusto. Make it with passion. Drink wine while you do it. And then, and this is monumentally important, whatever money you saved by making the food yourself, SPEND ON EVEN NICER WINE. We're not here to cut corners. We're here to celebrate. Make it the good stuff. That way, at least, if you make a mess of the meal, you can cheers confidently.
4. Flowers at Work instead of home:
This one is the simplest and one of the best. Flowers make people feel special and thought of and they're beautiful. They make you feel like the beauty of the flower is how your partner feels about you. And that's amazing all by itself. The only thing better than that, is if people could watch you get flowers and feel that way about you, too. What better place than your partners work?? All you have to do is give the florist a different address and then the enjoyment is easily 10 fold. All of your partners co-workers, bosses, and frenemies looking on? A+ execution on your part.
This one is the simplest and one of the best. Flowers make people feel special and thought of and they're beautiful. They make you feel like the beauty of the flower is how your partner feels about you. And that's amazing all by itself. The only thing better than that, is if people could watch you get flowers and feel that way about you, too. What better place than your partners work?? All you have to do is give the florist a different address and then the enjoyment is easily 10 fold. All of your partners co-workers, bosses, and frenemies looking on? A+ execution on your part.
5. Bare Your Soul in the card:
This one might be the cheapest and, logistically, the easiest, but it might also be the hardest to pull off. Honestly, the greeting card companies EXIST, and exist well-off, because it's so difficult. Most of us need someone to say it for us. But if you can. If it's in you. If you know it's down there somewhere, even if no one has ever seen it before, Valentine's Day is your day. It's your chance. Shine in the card. Be honest. Be affectionate. Be you. On the paper. And then let your partner see you there. That might actually be what it's all been about from the beginning.
We at Scrumptious Love wish you the happiest and loveliest of Valentine's Days and hope the best for all your efforts! Good luck! Have fun! And celebrate your love!!!
This one might be the cheapest and, logistically, the easiest, but it might also be the hardest to pull off. Honestly, the greeting card companies EXIST, and exist well-off, because it's so difficult. Most of us need someone to say it for us. But if you can. If it's in you. If you know it's down there somewhere, even if no one has ever seen it before, Valentine's Day is your day. It's your chance. Shine in the card. Be honest. Be affectionate. Be you. On the paper. And then let your partner see you there. That might actually be what it's all been about from the beginning.
We at Scrumptious Love wish you the happiest and loveliest of Valentine's Days and hope the best for all your efforts! Good luck! Have fun! And celebrate your love!!!
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